Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize