guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
