i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
please come you make the beer taste better
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
