I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
