Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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