Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
