Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
