I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
