you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
