does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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