i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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