Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
