Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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