So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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