Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
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