thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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