I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize