this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
No subtext here. People are naked.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize