I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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