eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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