I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
