his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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