.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
