It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
