He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Randomize