What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
