She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
