i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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