And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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