Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
