i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
