Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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