So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
