Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
