Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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