But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
