Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble

(1-310): View more from California

Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo

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(914): View more from New York

i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"

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(443): View more from Maryland

That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.

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(619): View more from California

she peed on how many people?

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(704): View more from North Carolina

he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

My vag is like the Sahara

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Ew that's gross.

(267): View more from Pennsylvania

The sad truth. Barren and empty.

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(352): View more from Florida

Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.

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