the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
