I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Bring me that man meat
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize