Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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