We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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