I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize