do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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