I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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