She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
