elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
