OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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