She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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