he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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