whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize