Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
