We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
