Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
bring money and cleavage
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
