Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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