No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
