I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
