i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
