we'll go far in life on tits alone.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
