I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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