what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
