He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
