im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
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