Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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