Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize