Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
