You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Congratulations! We have a period
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
