this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Randomize
