His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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