We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
