i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I have fence marks all over my body
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
