In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I have aggressive nipples.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
