Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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