Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
